What part of a woman does a man like looking at best?

The top of her head.


Did you hear about the new "morning after" pill for men?

It changes their blood type.


What do Opal Fruits do that a man can't?

Come in eight flavors.


I overheard a friend telling his pal, "I can't break my wife of the habit of staying up until 5 in the morning."


"What is she doing?" the pal asks.


"Waiting for me to get home."


My wife came home from the doctor's the other day and said that he told her she couldn't make love. Now I'm wondering how he found out.


Little Johnny's 2nd grade teacher was quizzing them on the alphabet.


"Johnny," she says, "what comes after 'O'?"


Johnny says, "Yeah!"



On the subject of Vegemite,  do you know what it's made from?  Well, you know that koala's noses are black...



An Irish guy is invited to his friend's cottage for the weekend, to hunt.

The first night, they stay up until the wee hours, drinking and playing cards.

The next morning, the guy is raring to go, of course, but his English host is much the worse for wear. After finding himself unable to even face a cup of coffee, the host finally says,


"I just can't do it, I'm too hung over. Tell you what, you take my gun and my dogs and go out hunting by yourself."


Much to his surprise, the Irish Guy is back in less than an hour.


"What happened ??", the host asks.


"Ran out of dogs..." answers the guy.