I have an answering machine in my car. It says,
"I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright
Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just
eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck taking her calls. Say,
if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just
hold it up to the phone.
(Use MacIntalk or similar voice program to speak your message.)
Hello, I am the XS486 Mark Five answering machine. I am
equipped with the new Pentium processor to assure that nothing
can go wrong. Gowrong. Grong. Grong gronggronggrong<BEEP!>
Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his
refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your
message to myself with one of these magnets.
Voice 1: Answer the phone, please, Hal.
Voice 2: I'm sorry, Dave, I can't do that. (2001 sound clip)
(Rod Serling imitation:) You're dazed, bewildered, trapped in a
world without time, where sound collides with color and shadows
explode. You see a signpost up ahead -- this is no ordinary
telephone answering device... You have reached, "The Twilight
This is the Literacy Self Test Hotline. After the tone, leave
your name and number, and recite a sentence using today's
vocabulary word. Today's word is "supercilious".
Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency.
We know how you are and what you want, so at the sound of the
tone, please hang up.
Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like.
Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.
(To the tune: "If I Only Had A Brain" from The Wizard of Oz)
I might be in the shower,
I might be gone for hours,
I can't come to the phone.
So, please leave your name and number,
If I miss you it'd be a bummer,
Leave your message at the tone...
Hello. If you're calling with bad news, leave your message now.
If it's good news, wait for the tone.
If a telephone rings in an empty room and no one is there to
answer it, was there really a phone call? You decide!
Alpha Centauri Space Station. Commander Marlin can't come to
the phone right now. He's either saving the universe from some
dread, unnamed peril, or perhaps taking a nappie. Leave your
name and number after the beep and he will return your call.