21st Century Vocab.
Assmosis - The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by sucking up to the boss.
Blamestorming - Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.
Seagull Manager - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, shits over everything and then leaves.
Salmon Day - The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.
Chainsaw Consultant - An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee head count, leaving the brass with clean hands.
CLM - Career Limiting Move - Used among microserfs to describe ill-advised activity. Slagging off your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM.
Adminisphere - The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
Dilberted - To be exploited and oppressed by your boss. Derived from the experiences of Dilbert, the geek-in-hell comic strip character. "I've been dilberted again. The old man revised the specs for the fourth time this week."
Flight Risk - Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave the company or department soon.
404 - Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located.
"Don't bother asking him . . . he's 404, man."
Ohnosecond - That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.
Percussive Maintenance - The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
Umfriend - A sexual relation of dubious standing or a concealed intimate relationship, as in "This is Diane, my ... um ...friend."